Dear 20 year-olds,
We find ourselves in our twenties, a phase where it may feel as if our lives hang in the balance. It's natural for many people to express their frustrations and exhaustion on social media. I, too, have found myself in such situations. After all, complaining is part of our human nature and helps distinguish us from other creatures.
In my view, the root of our anxiety, sadness, anger, and disappointment lies in our lack of clarity about our priorities. Most individuals in their twenties, like you and me, engage in similar activities. Many are students, recent graduates, or juniors in their respective fields, and we have officially entered adulthood. Congratulations!
On social media, particularly on platforms like TikTok, we often come across content where people share their experiences with college entrance exams. They sit with their families, anxiously logging into their accounts, hoping to be accepted into their dream universities. However, sometimes that red color appears on the screen, accompanied by the message
"Don't give up and keep your spirit."
I empathize with their feelings. I experienced a similar situation. Despite investing all my efforts, I faced rejection. It made me feel like I had let down my family, spending their hard-earned money on courses, and sacrificing time with my parents for studies. Is this the harsh reality we face? In response, I shifted my perspective, practiced meditation, and reevaluated my priorities, much like you described encountering rejection from a company or experiencing disappointment in exams or relationships.
We often treat these events as if they mark the end of our lives as if everything is falling apart. But wake up! Life offers countless ways to be experienced. Remember how tirelessly your mother worked to teach you how to walk as a baby? Would you give up on life because of rejection? Where is your human dignity?
Take a moment to sit down and reflect. Your twenties mark the beginning of your adult life. To navigate this challenging phase, we must establish our priorities and define our goals. For instance, if you were rejected by a college, ask yourself: Is it more important to get into your dream college or to bring happiness to your parents? Is landing a dream job more significant than leading a happier life? Is it winning the love of your crush or fulfilling your need for self-validation?
There are infinite paths to achieving our goals, but we often become fixated on a single approach. Many people abandon their potential because they grow weary of the process. Remember, changing your perspective can change your reality. Yes, we are in our twenties, but we often sigh as if we were living in the 1900s, amidst World War I, the Spanish Flu, World War II, economic crises, and other global challenges.
"Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe," said Abraham Lincoln. Like him, my priority at this age is to learn as much as possible. Our twenties are the prime time for learning. Education extends beyond the classroom, where we sit half-awake, taking notes from lecturers. Lessons can be learned anywhere, at any time. Engaging in internships, volunteering, participating in college organizations, discussing with experts, and embracing extracurricular activities are all valuable learning experiences. As John C. Maxwell said, "Live to learn, and you will learn to live."
I wrote this two years ago when I was 20, and I would like to offer a few suggestions. Firstly, be patient with yourself. Life is a journey, and it's okay to face setbacks and rejections. Embrace them as opportunities for growth. Secondly, remember that your worth isn't determined by external validation. Focus on your own personal growth and happiness. Lastly, surround yourself with positive influences and supportive individuals who can uplift you during challenging times.
Keep exploring, learning, and pursuing your passions. Your twenties are a precious time for self-discovery and building a foundation for the future and remember that the challenges you face today will shape the resilient individual you become tomorrow.
Wishing you the best,
Sakar Koirala
